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How to Be At Parties

Allison Conley

 

I went to my first actual party in March of 2013, in the basement of an old manor house in Richmond. It was my senior year of high school, an era when people still dutifully uploaded pictures of parties on Facebook. Every Sunday, my feed would be full of photos of cool kids with blurred out Natty Lites in suburban kitchens. My first thought upon entering the party was that it was like Facebook come to life.

 

I did not do well at the party. I mostly stood in a corner, observing and feeling jostled. I still often feel that way at parties -- jostled and awkward. However, I have improved thanks to the advice that I’ve gotten from friends, books, and the internet on how to be good at parties (including bars). For your convenience, I’ve compiled them here:

 

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How to drink at parties

• “Get drunk, but not really drunk. Find that happy medium where you can talk to that kid you make eye contact with in class but not so drunk that you tell him about your family problems and throw up on him.” - My roommates

• “Get to the right about of drunk where u remember how fun you are and that no one knows u and your anxieties.” - Other friends

 

How to be flirty at parties/make romantic connections

• “When you move around parties, lightly touch people as you most past them in the crowd. This will get their attention.” - My friend Susannah, Beach Week May 2013

• “Wink at people.” - Amy Rose Spiegel author of “Action: A Book About Sex” (gifted by Lizzie)

• “Ask someone at the bar if they have already ordered. Then they’ll usually talk to you.” - Serena

• “Go alone!” - Cosmopolitan

 

How to be a good guest

• “Always arrive at a party with three interesting topics to discuss. As a guest, you are obligated to bring the interest.” - A Cup of Jo, a women’s lifestyle blog I have been reading since I was 12

• “Ask people lots of questions about themselves. Ask good follow up questions. People like talking about themselves.” - My mom

• “Engage the shy people at the party. The more people are engaged in the party, the more fun the party will be.” - WikiHow, “How to be a party animal”

 

How to make the party productive

• “Work on your up-and-coming bits, comedic or otherwise.” -Me. This is my advice for parties.

• “Go into the party with a goal. Are you networking? Relaxing? Catching up with friends? Trying new foods? It is important to be goal-oriented.” - New York Times Smarter Living section

• “Say to yourself ‘lights, camera, action’ to act differently than you feel.” - Lauren

 

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There you have it! To be good at parties, you should be alone, goal-oriented, tipsy, interesting, engaging, working on a bit, and winking. Don’t @ me.